Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
