people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
