the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
