Only a mothe r could love this liver
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
