he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
