I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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