I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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