i already hear my dad disowning me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
