You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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