i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
