She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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