whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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