I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
