Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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