I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
