haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
