woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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