My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
