you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
