This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
