On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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