Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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