At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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