we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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