You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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