i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
