What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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