I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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