I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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