If that was your dad, he is hot
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
