? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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