oh god the rape fog is back!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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