I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
