At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize