Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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