one might say we're banned from that church
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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