Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
