he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
