i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
