I just cut my nipple shaving
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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