I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i think my mom watched the whole time
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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