i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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