First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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