see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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