I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
