you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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