Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
