she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
