Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
