he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
