And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
