it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
