kristin has been a bad kristin
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
