it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
