i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
